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brackets is responses of the educands
or a note from me about the question.
Is it wrong to have sex before marriage?
[Responses: Yes and No].
If you said “yes” why is it immoral? [
Responses: a) you can catch some serious diseases b) get into a
serious relationship and get hurt and this will affect you badly for a
long time c) you might get pregnant and that will ruin your life and bring
shame on you and your family – upset parents d) you still might be
seen as slut e) sex becomes nothing special just another thing to do
e) boys could go to a young offenders institution and be put on the
sex offenders’ register if the girl is underage and f) God says its
wrong.
But if you took precautions you would avoid
the diseases and the pregnancy and if you don’t believe in God, is it
okay then? [Responses: no for the other reasons already given].
Does any one know someone who has got
pregnant as a teenager or seen programmes on television about it?
What do those girls say? [Responses: a) it screwed up their lives
and they lost all the fun of being a teenager b) a few enjoyed it and
had the support of their family – but there was still some regret].
Haven’t attitudes changed in the modern world?
Is there really a stigma of sleeping with many partners and of having
a baby without being married? [Responses a) yes things have
changed so it’s no so immoral b) No not all that much – especially for
girls, You are seen as a slut and many parents will be upset if you get
pregnant and may even disown you].
If you said “no” it’s not immoral, why is
that? [Responses a) a person should be free to do what they want
with their own body b) helps you get close to someone you really like
c) it’s great fun and feels good – why can’t people have some pleasure
in this miserable world? d) most people aren’t religious and society’s
rules are a load of crap anyway so why even listen to them]
We don’t permit swearing or mocking in our
moral education sessions so please don’t. What about getting deep into
a relation ship and being hurt? What about you hurting others when
they find out you’ve used them just as a sex toy? [Responses:
hopefully most responses will be along the lines of it’s not nice to
use people or treat them badly].
Are people really willing to have sex or is it
peer pressure – you are not cool if you abstain? [responses: a)
yes people are willing b) no some people will do it even if they don’t
want to so they can be part of the group/gang].
So is sex okay is you don’t hurt someone
physically or mentally? [Responses: people will think for a while
about this one]
Can you ever be sure that you won’t get badly
hurt or that you will hurt someone else? [Responses – no].
I know my attempt at presenting a dialogue is
very rough. Such a conversation would take place over a number of
sessions and would be more complex. I hope other teachers and youth
workers involved in moral education would refine this.
Also remember that in a values education
approach to moral education you are trying to build the internal moral
compass and move away from the need for external rules. You can only do
this by tapping into human feelings of compassion and empathy and by
allowing people to come to their own conclusions about the negative
consequences for themselves and others. Here’s an interesting thought.
If we already have moral education, why do we need sex education?
Have a read of Values education: the
contribution of some voluntary youth organisations and see
how some voluntary organisations are contributing to helping your
people be even more responsible.
Dr Bill would be delighted to talk at your next
conference or event and explore how moral education can be applied in
practice and lead to a reduction in sexual activity which hurts
people. Contact him on
bill@valueseducation.co.uk
Copyright © 2008 Values Education Ltd
Note to editors. Feel free to use this article as long as the
following details are retained. “A values education article from CAVE
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